Holy Holiday On Ice!

Circa 1968.

Elmo wasn't the first TV character to be bastardized and raped in ice rinks all over America.

Seriously. tell me - do people really pay to see this shit?

Although "The Beverly Hillbillies On Ice" would have been pretty cool. Especially Granny...

Holy Recycling!

Here's a lovely shot of the Batcave. Please pay particular attention to the Atomic Pile (and be especially mindful of its High High Voltage).


Now, eyeball this shot from Our Man Flint, the James Coburn spy spoof, also from 20th Century-Fox in 1966. That thing to the right look a little familiar?

I imagine...

...that timid libriarian, Barbara Gordon...


...had a naughty streak.

I know that she was as hot as a Bat-rocket.

What kinda mileage you get in that thing?

Hoping that lightning would strike twice, ABC, 20th Century-Fox and William Dozier gave us The Green Hornet in 1967.

With Van Williams as The Green Hornet and Bruce Lee as Kato, Green Hornet played things a little straighter than Batman, though with a similar (but toned-down) Pop Art look. And Al Hirt blew his heart out playing the "Flight Of The Bumblebee," which had also featured in the old radio show.

Dean Jeffries, who'd bowed out of construction of the Batmobile (he felt he needed more than three weeks to cook up a car for the Dynamic Duo), created the Black Beauty, a customized 1966 Chrysler Crown Imperial sedan.

Crossover Batman episodes — "A Piece Of The Action" and "Batman's Satisfaction" — gave the new series a boost, turned Green Hornet and Kato into lifesize postage stamps and treated us to a fight between Burt Ward and Bruce Lee. (Wouldn't you love to see such a bout for real? Enter the Dragon, exit the Boy Wonder.)

It seemed to have so much going for it. Bruce Lee. A Batman plug. The Black Beauty. But, alas, The Green Hornet only lasted a single season.

Zoom! Zam! Wowie!

You would have been the biggest post-Christmas badass on the block had Santy Claus brung you this:



Though technically not a "photo," think of it as 24 photos a second for 28 seconds (672 photos).

And I'm not even going to get into the 3:2 pull-down process to convert it into video...

Once Upon A Time, GE Really Did Bring Good Things To Life.

There's nothing quite as insidious — or as great — as marketing to kids.


Here's how it worked circa 1966.

You saw this ad someplace — just in time for Halloween. Then you pestered the absolute crap out of some adult (the copywriter suggested "your father or mother or aunt or uncle or grandmother or grandfather") so they'd take you to a G-E TV dealer just to shut you up. Then, sly dog that you were, you'd get an "all-new, all-color Batmask FREE."

One side was Batman.


And if you flipped it over, it was Robin. How cool is that?


But how many kids actually wanted to be Robin? "Sure, sis, you can play. But, uh, you gotta be Robin."

This Oscar Season, Raise A Toast To Cesar Romero

After all, he was the first Joker.

Look, I'm not saying that he influenced poor, dead Heath Ledger - I don't think he did. For the record, I think Heath based his Joker on Nicholson's Jack Torrence from "The Shining" (really, check it out again with this in mind. It's uncanny, twitches and all), but I guess we'll never know. The Joker's real name is "Jack Napier" after all...

My favorite tidbit about Mr. Romero is this: At one point during the series he had a mustache - I don't know if he was growing it for another role or if he just wanted a damn mustache, BUT he had enough pull to get on the show with it covered in white greasepaint. Even to this, then 4 year old, it was painfully obvious.

"Daddy, why does The Joker have an invisible mustache?"

Which of course, speaking of Nicholson, is right up there with, "Daddy, why is The Joker singing a Prince song?"

The great thing about poor, dead Heath Ledger is that he looked back at the comics (and "The Shining" in my opinion) and made the character his own. And he deserves that Oscar that he's bound to get.


The great thing about Cesar Romero is that he created it from scratch. He was the first. And he had a rogue, bitchin' mustache. And he was Cuban...and gay. That's badass.

And both Ledger and Romero render Nicholson non-existent.

~
February 1, 2009

Dear Tim Burton,

Please burn the negative to "Batman." We'll be just fine without seeing "The Joker doing the Prince dance" ever again. Really. No, seriously.

With love, but not forgiving you for raping "Planet of the Apes" and "Willie Wonka,"
Bat-Photo Of The Day